Over the years riding my bicycle on the paved roads of America I've had my fair share of odd ball occurances...but today's episode opens up a whole new chapter of weirdness.
It was nearing 5pm and I was traveling North on Fiddyment at about 17 mph when I noticed that the last car that passed me quickly swirved into the bike lane and was slowing to a stop. I looked back over my shoulder to see if there was a significant break in the traffic that would allow me to go around this new obstacle but due to the hour all I saw was an endless stream of vehicles. Dispite my irritation I was going to have to stop or stop and get up onto the sidewalk to get around this annoying car. After I stopped I noticed there was a lone elderly woman in the car and she seemed to be signaling me. Being the reasonably responsible individual that I am I thought she might be in distress so I moved up to her passenger side window to see what was up.
Welllll....apparently I had a sign on my back that said "Local Tour Guide" because the woman immediately explained that she forced me to stop because she was lost and wanted to find out how she could get to Lincoln.
Despite my amazement at her astonishingly arrogant, self serving and dangerous act I answered her questions and pointed her in the right direction. But apparently my directions weren't simple or clear enough for her and she chastised me for being vauge and demanded I tell her again.
Despite the fact that I know she must be someone's dear old grandmother...I told her exactly where to go.
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3 comments:
Ah, that reminds me of the old Barenaked Ladies live version of "If I had $1000000" - thus:
Ed: I'd like to make a dedication, we don't... we don't usually make dedications at all but... I met this woman today, she was the sweetest woman I ever met.
Ed: I was walking down North Clark by Belmont, down there, and this little old lady comes up to me and she says 'Excuse me, but do you know where the Bryant St Theatre is?' and I said 'No, I'm sorry I'm from out of town.' and she said 'Well, for Christs Sake!'
Ed: That's what she said and I said 'I'm... I'm sorry.' she goes 'Well?'
Steve: Really??
Ed: Well, Yeah!
Steve: Cool!
Ed: 'I'm sorry, no I don't.'
Ed: 'Well, for Christ's Sake!' (Little Old Lady's Voice)
Ed: 'I said I'm sorry'
Ed: 'Well?' (Little Old Lady's Voice)
Steve: You know she had been wandering round the same corner-
Ed: I actually felt bad, I walked away and thought I should have known where that was... you know, I really should, like, maybe I'll look for it and then try and find her.
Ed: I was actually thinking stuff like that, then I thought what am I doing? I should like go find her and say 'Lady, you're an idiot!' and when she goes 'What?' I'll go 'Well?'
Hop Hunter, you're just mean. I thought you bike riders had a code that said you were something like the unofficial tour guides of the town.
If Greig's mentioning songs, how about Michelle Shocked:
"You're not very smart, are you?"
"No, but I ain't lost."
Unofficial tour guides for other cyclist maybe..or tour guides when were not in the middle of a set and there is traffic. And being intentionally stopped in the middle of the road??? Come on, that's just insane.
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