Here's to you Dad

On the first day of the year 2010 my Father, Chuck Lybarger, passed away in his own home ... in his own bed. He succeeded in his ardent desire to die at home and not in some hospital bed. He was 138 days shy of his 79th birthday.

Technically speaking Chuck was my step-father and I only mention that to explain the difference in our last names. Other wise it was never an issue. Considering that he became my Dad when I was just five days past my fourth birthday it's easy to understand why.

That's not to say we always saw eye to eye and got along well .... in my teenage years and early adult life we were always at odds and tended to avoid each other. Despite our animosity and feuds I'm proud to say neither of us ever brought up our lack of matching DNA, not once ... ever. Sometimes it seemed it was the only thing we got right between us.

In my Little League years we actually got along famously..... he always made sure I had the best glove on the team and despite his lack of history playing sports always had time to play some catch with me, especially if I had a game to warm up for.

As I related during his memorial service on January 6th the only thing he ever held against me (and supposedly wouldn't forgive me for) was the fact that I hit my first Little League home run in the one and only game he ever missed. He joked and chided me about that until his last days.

I was also the first kid in my neighborhood to get a 10-speed bike that possessed some contraption called a derailleur that made the gears change. He spent nearly a half weeks wages putting that French bicycle under the Christmas tree for me.

So ya...he was a very generous and giving soul that truly enjoyed surprising his loved ones, going above and beyond the expected and making them happy. His yearly Christmas gifts to my Mother are legendary.

I realize now how unfortunate it was that he was never quite as generous with himself throughout his life. He had episodes of drinking and violence that he would later deeply regret. Yet despite these grey and turbulent times he never faltered in his mission of providing first and foremost for his family.

I used to joke that I learned from him a great many things NOT to do, but the fact of the matter he provided much of the framework that I live by and have passed to my own children. His absolute refusal in taking any unwarranted crap from anyone was instilled in me early on and has generally served me well over the years.

One of my favorite things he left with me is my understanding and appreciation of firearms. From and early age he set down some carved-in-stone safety and handling procedures that are as spot on and pertinent today as they were in 1958 when he started teaching them to me. I passed these learning's onto my own kids as well and fully expect they will do the same for their own offsprings when the time comes.

Over the years I have also come to realize the simple fact that kids need their parents to love each other no matter what happens between them. This was always the case with my parents despite the envelopes that we all pushed from time to time. I've always been grateful for that.

I suppose I could go on and on about my old man, especially about his 9 lives and all of his amazing array of health problems, family drama's and totalled vehicles but I will leave that for the spoken word stories and the retelling of his life....which I suspect will be going on for a long time to come.

Thanks Dad...... I miss you already.